How To Get A Second Date With A Girl

tAN REX SAW

Tan Rex Saw had his first pet, a baby crocodile when he was 5. By 8 years old, he was working alongside his dad handling jackhammer drills. At 31 he is now an expert craftsman who can fix and build anything. The present day skinny jeans wearing, selfie taking, Facebooking man infuriates him like nothing else. Tan Rex Saw shares his home improvement knowledge through Kaodim as his last attempt to save mankind from rapid disintegration

On every first date with a new girl, I make it a point to stop by the HARDWARE STORE.  I don’t really need anything but I’ll just tell her I need to get STUFF.

I’ll linger into the store, high five the cashier (even though I don’t know him) and walk straight to the POWER DRILL section. I’ll spend about 5 minutes analysing all the power drills and I usually walk out of the store picking up some drill bits (which I don’t need at all).   If I have some cash to spare or if I really like the girl, I’ll probably just buy a drill.  I’ve got about 15 drills now.

This always gets me a second date.

I don’t know why, but girls like men with drills.  Drills are POWERFUL and MANLY and the drill bits look like ammo.  Girls like ammo too.

So here’s a breakdown of the top 3 drills any man should have

1) THE MAKITA LXFD03

makita

This is the real deal and packs a PUNCH!

PROS

  • Extremely high torque (750 inch pounds max)
  • Massive speed settings (0.2000 RPM)
  • variable speed trigger
  • 21 clutch settings (lets you control exactly how deep you want to insert a screw)
  • You can drill half an inch through metal with this baby
CONS
  • Kind of heavy (but lighter than a Russian AK-47 Assault Rifle. That means you should be able to lift this)
  • It’s got a rubberised soft grip (I don’t need grip, it makes your hands soft- it’s like using hand moisturiser.. No)
  • No manufacturer contact details if you need enquiries (But why would you need to enquire.. about anything. Just fix your own problems)
VERDICT:
GET THIS DRILL (I HAVE 5 OF THEM)
2) DeWALT DCD790D2
dewalt
PROS
  • 20 Volts of Powerrrrrr
  • 2000 RPM (not bad)
  • This can drill 2 inch holes in wood and half inch holes in metal
CONS
  • DeWalt doesn’t tell you how much torque this has (What’s up with that? Everyone speaks torque!)
  • light (it’s only 3.5 pounds so it awkwardly feels like you’re drilling with a pen)
VERDICT:
GET THIS IF YOU LIKE THE TASTE OF A MACALLAN 12 
3) HITACHI DS18DSAL
hitachi

PROS

  • 22 inch clutch setting
  • Great warranty options

CONS

  • 460 inch pounds of force (Good if you’re afraid of power)
  • 1.7 inch holes in wood
  • light (under 3.5 pounds.  Good for children)

VERDICT:

GET THIS FOR YOUR 8 YEAR OLD KID 

So these are my recommended drills  Go get any of these right now.

After I get out of the hardware store, that’s the end of the drills and it’s time to focus on my date.  It’s hard to get images of such glorious looking machinery out of my mind.  However if I don’t get a second date at least I’ll get to visit the hardware store again when I meet someone new.

T. Rex Saw

Kaodim Resident Handyman


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